Twinkle
by DaTwinklePeople
Summary: A hilarious spoof of Twilight.
1. Prelude

_A/N: This is a Twilight spoof. We had fun writing it, so we don't care much if you hate it. However, it would be awesome if you like it. So review. Pretty please. No characters are ours; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer (thank God), but the interpretations of characters and situations are ours. --C, J, A, and S._

TWINKLE

PRELUDE

I glared out the airplane window. I was angry because my mother had bought me size sixteen pants when she knows _perfectly well _that I wear size twenty-eight. Also, she was making me move from my comfortable, privileged life to somewhere where I will have an even more comfortable and privileged life.

My life in Phoenix was wonderful. I had lots of friends, but I always lie to people about that so that they'll feel bad for me and buy me lots of Christmas presents. My favorite was my Suds and Surprise Dora doll. I did try to execute her once, but she just waved her arms and screamed 'Hola!' repetitively until I gave her a hug and released her. This year, I want a Go Diego Go doll so that Dora can have a special friend. I hope he comes with his pet Baby Jaguar. He is my very favorite animal.

Oh, well. Just because my life is horrible doesn't mean I have to make Charlie miserable as well…but I think I will anyway, just for the fun of it. Maybe it'll cheer me up.

I pulled out the book Renee gave me to read on the plane. It was called The Vampire Diaries. I had read a few pages of the book when I decided that I wanted my life to be exactly like Elena's in the book. I would meet a vampire and have two guys fight over me. Little did I know that I would have to settle for a glitter fairy…


	2. Chapter One

_A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! We had NINE REVIEWS on the first chapter and they were all positive. In this chapter, I've decided to start playing with the adjectives a bit. In the second paragraph, it calls her ugly shirt "extraordinary", for example. And I'm sorry for being so on-off with posting new chapters.... but I'm sort of upset. The point of posting Twinkle online was to get feedback so that we could maybe publish it, but Nightlight beat us to the punch. :-( Whatever. We'll just have to keep writing and see what happens!! Enjoy Chapter One. --C_

My mother drove me to the airport in Phoenix with the windows rolled down. I wore my favey-favoritest shirt. It was purple with pink butterflies on it.

Suddenly, a tree branch came through the open window and poked me! It ripped my shirt, and I had to change into a new extraordinary one. It was sleeveless with white lace. I cannot describe it, for that is out of my realm of mental capabilities.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Renee says, after I skip through the whole car ride by listening to my dinosaur-aged Walkman instead of an iPod like a normal human being. Still, it's odd that I missed that whole ride, then security, then baggage check-ins....the guards must have thought that I'm on drugs.

"But, Mother, dearest, I, um, I - I - I wanna go. Yeah." I replied. I suck at lying.

My believable mother nods. "Okay. Get on the plane. I want to be rid of you."

I stare at her in horror.

"Ah, Bella. I'm just kidding. I love you, sweetyums. Now get on the flipping plane before I drag you onto it myself."

I scurry to the airplane, accidentally tripping over the oxygen floating around my feet. God. These terminal janitors really should do a better job cleaning around here. I could have fallen and died! Granted, I would have done the world a huge favor, but I wasn't ready to die. Yet, anyway. Little did I know that I would return to that airport just over a month later...

When I got to my seat, I sat and listened to my Walkman again. I wasn't yet cool enough for Linkin Park _[A.N.: That's what she was listening to in Chapter Seven. Check SMeyer's website, under 'FAQ'.] _, so I listened to a blend of the Jonas Brothers and Teletubbies.

Finally I got off the airplane. Charlie gave me a gargantuan hug and then made me go sit in the car.

And this is where the chapter ends randomly.


End file.
